Today I come armed with goals, but I need help. One plan is to blog here everyday, (maybe for a year. Can I do everyday for a year? I'll try). Either a line, a picture or a full out entry, that's the plan. At a used book sale last month I bought a tiny pocket sized book called 'Meditations for Women to do too Much' by Anne Wilson Schaef. No idea who she is but the paragraph-long meditations for each day looked appropriate for me and non-threatening. Each page has the date, a title, a quote and a small bit of encouragement and to be honest I haven't read many of them yet but I like the titles on each page, if nothing else. So I'm going to use each daily title as the title of my blog and some may be relevant to me at that moment and some may not. At least it gives me a bit of structure for this mini-project and I liked that yesterday's title was Goals, so I'll go with it.
As for Being in Charge, I am realizing more than ever how much I need to be. I don't mean of the kids, and that part of my life, of course I am, along with Scott. But to be in charge, take charge, of my writing and the life I want outside of home stuff. So today I asked Scott for a writing afternoon, and of course he said yes and took the kids off for some adventure I look forward to hearing about later. This afternoon, I sat in my cool office that lets me look up at the trees in my backyard and finished the first draft of a new story and I love it! I'll admit I felt guilty to ask for the time alone and to not get to spend this gorgeous day out with my family but I birthed a story this afternoon that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't asked for time, not to mention kicking off this blogging project, and it feels great. So here I am, being a grown up, being in charge and being excited about what it could, or will, all mean to me and to me relating to my family in refreshed and happier ways.
My mind is spinning with more goals right now, including getting up early some mornings to write (on my deck in the early morning with coffee would make it worth it, I'm sure), writing plans (finish this story, one of several for a collection), actually submitting them places. This year of blogging I figure will be of another year journey of our family and the major changes that await us after the summer (not that the summer needn't be slow and long and luxurious), but will also let me document my writing and where that takes me. But I feel I'm talking too much about it and need to just jump in.
So back to Schaaef and her mediations, I like the quote she gives me for today about being in charge, by Nellie McClung:
Never retract, never explain, never apologize...get the thing done and let them howl.
Perhaps a little severe for me - who often over explains and apologizes for everything - but I suppose for a happier wife and mama in the end, a little bit of howling never does anyone too much harm.