what happy looks like
I'm reading a story by Alice Munro today called Runaway. I've read about five pages, all day. It's hard to sit and read when I'm the one running away, from children, most of the afternoon.
We were out the door this morning just after 9am. Thanks to a no-tax event at Rona, we headed there to buy the ceiling tiles we need for our wood room renovations. It's coming along, with the basement, I'll get pictures up soon. The morning was great. Rona, followed by a quick grocery shop and then to the toy store to let the kids buy what they've been saving their allowance for. I managed to sneak in a quick buy of my own; a tshirt with the word HAPPY across the front. It seemed fitting and I put it on for fun when I got home. I've since covered up with a hoodie.
It's hard. It's one of those afternoons when I have a plan, Scott has a plan and the kids just want us. Why don't they go off and play together? Surely that way is often more fun. So after cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry, dishes, I sat down with my story to read and a cup of tea. Then they pounce.
The next hour or more was spent with me and my book walking around the house and into the backyard, being trailed by very loud, very needy children. It's not wrong to want my own time. But after nothing worked, I gave and got grumpy, so much for the new shirt and the hoodie gets zipped up to my chin. And then the worst part. They say something cute, Rosie picks a flower from the garden for me, and William picks up the old guitar to play me a tune. I'm torn between thinking why did I spend the day running away instead of playing with them AND what's wrong with wanting my own time and what could I have done to have gotten it? And then as soon as we're up and back to chores, making dinner, kitchen stuff, they have no problem finding something to do, outside playing happily.
Go away, get outside, I love you and we'll cuddle later. Even as I write this my grumpiness is fading and I'm looking forward to later.
One more thing. A project!! Read a short story, test myself by writing about it here. I'll start with Runaway, it fits. What do you think? Any suggestions for stories and better ways to find your own time.